


That's How I Wish It'd Happened.

by ainui



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sort Of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-20
Updated: 2018-06-20
Packaged: 2019-05-25 19:35:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14984099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ainui/pseuds/ainui
Summary: Pre CACW, Steve walks in on Tony testing out the Binarily Augmented Retro-Framing. Tony's at a breaking point, and Steve just wants to help.





	That's How I Wish It'd Happened.

A gentle melody wafted through the hall outside Tony’s workshop. Steve wasn’t sure whether to be concerned or comforted at the unfamiliar tune- he’d become so accustomed to his boyfriend blasting AC/DC whenever he could that the soft piano and even softer voice made him a little uneasy.

He nudged the door open with his hip, careful not to drop the plate of food that was precariously balancing on his fingertips. He let his eyes wander around the shop until they landed on Tony, who was standing near the source of the music. A middle aged woman sat at a grand piano, her blond hair pulled neatly into a simple updo.

_“Try to remember_

_The kind of September_

_When grass was green…”_

The whole scene was rather serene. Tony seemed to agree, with his glossy eyes trained on the woman behind a thick framed pair of glasses and a small smile playing on his lips.

The calm atmosphere was interrupted- no, shattered, if the now broken look on Tony’s face was anything to go by- when a new character strolled into the room. He stepped quickly over to the couch, pulling up a red blanket to reveal another small frame Steve hadn’t even noticed. The figure on the couch sucked in a sharp intake of breath, and as the two men turned towards the piano, several things clicked into place.

The man was Howard, Steve was sure of it. He was older, more weary, and certainly lacking all the radiant personality Steve had come to love, but it was Howard all the same. The figure on the couch, on the other hand, was a clean shaven Tony who looked to be in his early twenties at the most. So this was a memory.

Steve suddenly felt like an intruder in his own home.

“Wake up, dear, and say goodbye to your father,” said the woman. Tony’s mother, he supposed.

“Who’s the homeless person on the couch?” Steve winced at Howard’s harsh tone. It didn’t fit. The calm was gone, even as Maria Stark continued to play.

Steve glanced at Tony- his Tony- who was now looking down at his feet, seemingly ignoring the scene that was playing out.

“This is why I love coming home for Christmas... Right before you leave town,” The young Tony spat.

“Tony…”

The genius froze at Steve’s voice, yanking off the glasses. The scene fell into the blue grid lines Steve had come to associate with holograms, and the music stopped abruptly.

“Steve? What are you doing?” He snapped.

The super soldier shifted his weight uncomfortably. “I uh… brought you lunch. I know you forget to eat when you’re working down here.”

Tony’s hard glare softened as a sigh escaped his lips. “You… yea, okay, c’mere.”

Steve set the plate down on the nearest table before walking over and planting a soft kiss on Tony’s forehead. “What was that?”

“Binarily Augmented Retro-Framing. It’s uh, some tech I’ve been working on. To help people with… trauma, I guess.”

“Trauma?” Steve’s eyebrows furrowed together. “Tony, is this-”

“The last time I saw them alive. Before the crash. The point is to allow the user to change their actions, and project it into the real world. That way they can get over whatever was causing them so much trauma. I mean, that’s what’s supposed to happen, but…”

“What do you regret?” Steve asked, running a hand through his boyfriend’s hair. Tony paused for a moment, no doubt wondering if he really wanted to share this.

“I…” He shook his head, then slowly put the frames back on and turned to the now fabricated scene. The calming sound of the piano filled the room again. “Just watch.”

Maria’s soothing voice was the next to sound. “Be nice, dear. He’s been studying abroad.”

“Really? Which broad? What’s her name?”

Steve couldn’t help but smile a little at that. This was the Howard he remembered, with his sharp wit and endless wise cracks.

“Candice,” came the bored reply. Howard tugged the santa hat off his son’s head, revealing the all too familiar mop of brown hair. He chucked it on the couch rather harshly.

“Do me a favour? Try not to burn the house down before Monday.”

The young Tony stepped around his father, jamming his hands into his pockets. “Okay, so it’s Monday. That is good to know, I will plan my toga party accordingly. Where’re you going?” He came to a stop by his mother’s side.

“You’re father’s flying us to the Bahamas for a little getaway,” she said without missing a note.

“We might have to make a quick stop.”

“At the Pentagon?” Tony supplied. He leaned down by Maria, wiggling his shoulders in a tantalizingly playful motion. “Don’t worry, you’re gonna love the holiday menu at the commissary.”

The music stopped. Steve felt Tony wince beside him.

The younger Tony sauntered towards the doorway as Howard launched into another quip. “You know, they say sarcasm is a metric for potential. If that’s true, you’ll be a great man some day. I’ll get the bags.” And just like that, Howard was gone.

Maria looked sadly at Tony as she walked up to his brooding form. “He does miss you when you’re not here.” A pause. “And frankly, you’re going to miss us. Because this is the last time we’re all going to be together. You know what’s about to happen. Say something.” Tony didn’t even look up, but it was easy to see the conflict in his features. Maria’s tone turned slightly frantic. “If you don’t, you’ll regret it.”

The Tony next to Steve was completely stiff as his younger iteration hesitated in the doorframe. He looked angry, sad, scared- he looked like a little kid. And then, like nothing was wrong, he turned to Howard as the older man walked in the room.

“I love you, dad.” He turned to his mother. “And I know you did the best you could.”

The room fell apart again just as Maria leaned in to press a kiss to Tony’s cheek, nearly making it before they disappeared as well.

Steve looked down to Tony. His Tony.

He was shaking.

“Shit, Tony, it’s okay, you’re okay-” He knew his hands were fluttering everywhere, but the sight of his boyfriend falling apart like this caught him completely off guard.

Tony brushed him off, striding over to his workbench. “It’s, uh… a work in progress. Not sure it will actually do any good. Too inconsistent for how expensive it is, you know? It’s certainly an advancement in VR, but maybe projecting memories, especially ones so unstable, isn’t the best idea…”

Steve pulled the shorter man in for a hug. “Tony, you’re rambling. It’s alright, love. I’m right here, okay?”

Tony stood limply for a minute before slowly wrapping his arms around Steve’s middle. “Steve, I didn’t… I didn’t even say goodbye, I was such an ass because I was too stubborn to just tell my dad I _loved him_ , I-”

“Shh, it’s okay, love. You didn’t mean any harm, I know you.”

“What was my mother thinking when they crashed? That I hated them? That I would be relieved?” He shook his head, no doubt hiding tears.

“No, baby, no. She… Tony, if I were in her place, I would only be able to think about how much I love you, okay? She was your mother, she knew you better than anyone. She didn’t think you hated her, I know it, okay?”

Tony didn’t respond, just pillowed his face into Steve’s shoulder, allowing his hands to comb through his hair again. They stood like that for a long moment, until Tony’s shuddering breaths evened out into something resembling normal.

“I miss her so much. I do. I just… I miss her singing that song while I slept, and I miss her just _being_ there. I can’t get that back, it’s gone…”

Tony tensed up, before pushing Steve away roughly. Steve stumbled back in surprise. “Tony-”

The genius grabbed the glasses, angrily chucking them on the ground. “Stupid! I’m so fucking- why did I ever think this would help? Just a goddamn fantasy, it’s not even _real_ -” and suddenly, his foot was hovering over the glasses.

Steve pulled Tony back before he could destroy them, effectively making the two of them topple backwards onto the floor. “Tony, stop it! Calm down,” he ordered, enveloping his boyfriend in his arms. The smaller man leaned into the touch, and just like that, he started to cry.

The sound was heart-wrenching. Loud, heaving sobs escaped Tony’s throat erratically, and Steve would be a liar if he said it didn’t scare him. He’d never seen Tony cry like this, if at all. This wasn’t right. “Sh, Tony, breathe for me. I’m right here. I’m not leaving you.”

It seemed like an eternity until the tears finally subsided. Tony’s gasps turned into even breaths, and before long he was asleep in his boyfriend’s arms.

“JARVIS,” Steve started quietly so as not to wake Tony, “When’s the last time Tony slept?”

“It has been roughly 43 hours since sir last slept.”

Steve sighed. No wonder Tony was a mess, he must have been at a breaking point. Not to mention how poorly he’d already been doing. Steve was no stranger to the panic attacks and nightmares. This was really only a small step further.

Careful not to jostle the sleeping man in his arms, Steve made his way to their shared bedroom before gently laying Tony on the bed. He climbed in next to his boyfriend, pulling the duvet over them both and pulling Tony to his chest.

_“Try to remember_

_The kind of September_

_When grass was green,_

_And grain was yellow…”_

_“...Without a hurt, the heart will hollow.”_

**Author's Note:**

> im not proud of this lol
> 
> this scene just kinda fucked me up in about 10 different ways and i had to write something


End file.
